Man Upset Nobody Cares He Died
Posted on July 9, 2007
You know what really makes me want to plunge? Retards. Since it may not be politically correct to say this, let me be more specific; ****ing retards. Of course, I’m not talking about retards as per the actual definition of the term, but rather the generally accepted use in reference to complete morons. For example, I would define an individual who fakes his own death as a retard.
If any retard rights activists are still offended, (meaning they feel the need for a little media attention) please post your complaints in my comments section. I’ll happily meet with retard rights leaders to discuss my poor use of the term and will then upon recommendation enter myself into therapy where councellors can read definitions to me from the dictionary. Actually, that would probably only happen if I said faking your own death makes you totally gay. Maybe something was lost in translation on its way to Bosnia and the dude thought the motto was, “coming out of the coffin”. Maybe its a cultural thing and in Bosnia people are buried in their closets after death?
Anyways, now that we have established a gay retarded man from Bosnia faked his own death in order to determine which of his male friends would be most suitable for marriage, we can get on with the story! According to reports, the retarded Bosnian guy sent complaints to 45 of his friends after they failed to show up at his funeral for his coming out party. The only person who did attend the funeral was the retarded Bosnian guys mother who was there to pick-up the free flowers she expected some sucker would bring. It is unknown yet if the entire faked death was actually the mom’s idea as it is known that she really likes flowers.
“I paid a lot of money to get a fake death certificate and bribe undertakers to deliver an empty coffin. - the retarded Bosnian guy who is also gay“
Apparently, the retarded Bosnian guy watched the entire funeral from behind some bushes.
“I really thought a lot more of you, my so-called friends, would turn up to pay their last respects. It just goes to show who you can really count on. - the retarded Bosnian guy who is also gay“
It is unknown if the retarded Bosnian guy who is also gay plans to fake his death again soon in order to give all his “friends” a second chance.
Funeral homes are now contacing more and more people with this story with the hopes of encouraging more people to use this method to discover their real friends. The move is expected to cause a huge income boom for the funeral business which will benefit from people dying more than once in a lifetime!
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